sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
