but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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