it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
