The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
