Are we in a gay sports bar?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
