This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
