weddingsv make me drug and hornr
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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