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• (810): View more from Michigan

  oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed

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• (310): View more from California

  I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt

  (607): View more from New York

  Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...

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