How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
