youre lurking in front of me
from now on my penis is your penis
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
