I'm drive I can fine osifer
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
