shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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