dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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