youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
i think im in europe. pls send help
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
