How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
