I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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