no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
do nipples grow back?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
