she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
