The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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