WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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