You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
