i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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