i don't like sucking hair
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
should my penis look like a turkey
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
