dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
