Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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