I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
