Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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