So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
