He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
