Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i think my tv is drunk
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
