I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
