I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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