Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
