We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
