Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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