Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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