Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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