playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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