I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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