dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
