i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
