dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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