nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
