So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize