great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
