You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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