i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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