The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
