The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
