actually, I'm a sock model
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm like, not good at living.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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