we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
