I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
