but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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