we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
