**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
