Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
